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Monday, March 24, 2008I Hear The Music Playing
I hope when my life ends, if there is such a thing as God and Heaven, I'm greeted at the pearly gates with a glass a wine and someone greeting me with a thumbs up, saying YOU DID GOOD, KID. I want to say that I can hang in there and roll with the punches, but should I have to?
Life is never what we expect. Every now and then I have these moments that take me out of my element - bring me to a balcony overlooking my life and how the Dance is progressing. I never thought I would be here: watching.
Today someone asked me what I like to do. I had such a hard time answering - all I could think of was: I like to be an observer. The things I like are much more introspective; thinking, writing, moving to music, watching the stars and thinking "what else is out there?" On the outside, I know I'm boring with an occasional spark of fun. (I can seriously tear up the dance floor, when given the right music.) Those things that are important are kept much closer to the heart and kept private.
Many of my friends are married and starting families. Joe, even, had a daughter just days ago. Ouch - trust me, I'm having issues. How the hell do I fit into the grand scheme of things? And when is it MY TURN to have a go on the dance floor? There are definitely parts of this Dance when I don't want to be the observer. I want to be in the middle of the action. WHEN, OH WHEN, WHEN, WHEN IS IT MY TURN?
Things are getting pretty dull on the inside. I'm not having much fun just watching anymore...