Most Normal Girl
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By visiting this site, you read at your own risk. I am known for errors in grammar and spelling. If you become less intelligent by reading this site, become incredibly bored, or are disgusted by what you read - you were warned. Furthermore, I will not be held responsible for ANY mental, emotional, physical, financial, or spiritual damage to you, your friends, your family or strangers. I apologize to my friends and family if I embarrass you. I reserve the right to edit any and all comments on this blog. I also reserve the right to humiliate you if you dare say anything negative about me, my friends, my family, or strangers who I like.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005Holiday Greetings
Saturday, December 24, 2005Home Comes To Me For The Holidays
IN AN EMAIL TO MY FRIEND THIS MORNING, I SAID:
At 10:45am this morning, there was a knock on my door. I was in the middle of doing laundry and cleaning my apartment. I looked like ass. I peered through the peep hole only to see an LA Dodgers logo staring back at me. I opened the door and saw him standing there. Before he even had a chance to look at me, I blurted out "OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I don't think I've ever tackle-hugged someone so fast and so hard; it was GREAT. Yep, Blair came to Boston to surprise me. I was sooooo happy - you have no idea!
I was on the phone with him last night while he was driving to Las Vegas to hang out with his friends. I asked him about it - if it was just a "cover." No - he actually drove to Las Vegas to fly out here (had a connection in D.C. along the way) just because it was cheaper. I'm still in shock. He drove all that way (6 hours) to catch a red-eye flight only to be here for 3 days. And he still will have to drive home from Las Vegas!!! What a man, what a man.
I feel like the luckiest woman on the planet. This is going to be a very memorable Holiday.
My parents get into town around 7pm tonight. I can't wait!
IN AN EMAIL TO ME, FROM SAID FRIEND:
That is such wonderful news! Please tell Blair that even I was reduced to tears when I learned of his surprise visit--wow, what a man! With that said, I hope that this is evidence that anyone who drives six hours to Vegas to catch a red eye is clearly focused on love.
Friday, December 23, 2005"Hot Normal Girl"
My neurosis is at it again. Every once in a while I will check the stats page of this blog. I like to see who is visiting this site, where they're from, how they found me, and any other information that can feed my ego.
Yesterday afternoon, someone did a MSN search for a "hot normal girl" and up popped my blog. I couldn't stop laughing. MSN had ignored the "hot" part and just found websites that had "normal" in the title. Poor guy. (I'm assuming it was a guy that did the search - I mean, who else would use the words "hot girl" in a search? So now I'm envisioning some poor guy out there who just wanted to find a "hot normal girl" and all he got was me. His Holiday Season must be shattered.)
I think I love MSN Search now. I mean, hey, if THEY want to think that I'm a "hot normal girl" I'm all for it! I've tried to do searches on other sites for my blog and I could never find the right terms to use. Well, now I've got some terms. Sweeeeet.
So, to the guy who searched for the “hot normal guy” and found me, I’m sorry if I disappointed you. If anything, consider me the consolation prize. Or just an early APRIL FOOLS!
Thursday, December 22, 2005NEWS
In L.A., I would probably care that Gwen Stefani is pregnant. But being in Boston, all I care about (these days) is that Johnny Damon is a traitor.
It's happened - Boston has gotten to me.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005Characters
When I ride the bus, I often find myself wondering about the other people who are sitting around me. For the last three days I've sat next to the same man, in the same seat. He is always reading a book and wearing a bright blue jacket. He doesn't seem to notice me much; which I like. But he pays attention to every single person who boards the bus - eyeing them up and down before returning to his novel. (He happens to be reading a US History book, by the way.)
I have also seen the same elderly woman sitting in her same seat the past three days. She's worn the same pair of pants and the same shoes each day (I notice these things). She has stringy white hair and is somewhat disshelved looking - she kind of scares me, actually. She and I get off at the same bus stop. Thankfully, she heads in the opposite direction.
Today I also noticed a different guy. He was a strange character. He was wearing black, thick-rimmed, glasses that were clipped to his baseball cap. He used one of those alligator clips to attach the side of his frames to the side of the hat - why? I really don't know. His glasses were sort of cockeyed because of it, too.
Ahhh, my bus. Oh glorious bus that is always a strange and interesting part of my day. You are always unpredictable and filled with such wonder and amusement. Your passengers are strange and interesting; how lucky for me to be among them!
~~FAST FORWARD TO LUNCH~~
Today I went to the common area of one of the buildings, here at school. I sat there with half a dozen other people, also eating their lunches. A mom was there with her infant daughter. The kid was adorable. All she could do was sit and make baby noises. (At one point, she leaned over too far and SPLAT - landed on her belly, face-first.) She had bright pink cheeks and a head full of fuzz. The mother had surrounded her with rattles, stuffed animals, educational toys, and the diaper bag. She was quite content to put them all into her mouth, every now and then looking up to smile at the world. I loved her the moment I saw her. The mom sat across from her doing work on her laptop - taking breaks to make funny noises or just smile at the baby. Each time she did, her daughter would look at her mom with this bright beaming smile that sort of said, "thank you for being so silly mom." It was really cute to watch the two of them.
I am so looking forward to the day when I get to be a mom. Just to have those tiny moments when they look up at you and the whole world is complete.
I really wish I could just take snapshots of my day and paint pictures for the world to see. Some would be funny. Some would be beautiful. Some would be filled with people to remember. And others would be just for me...
Monday, December 19, 2005Current Week
School is out (for me, anyway) and now the countdown is on: Just five days until my parents arrive in New England.
I'll be working this week - which is good; I need the money. Having to drag my ass out of bed each morning is a good thing too. I've decided. Or perhaps I'm still trying to convince myself. Waking up at 6:30am every morning while on vacation is a GOOD, GOOD thing. Um... yeah...
I still have all my Holiday cards and 3 more packages to bring to the Post. On the busiest week of the year, why not wait a little longer, right?
It will be a good week. It will. It will. It will.
Saturday, December 17, 2005Holiday Party Photos
Me and Jon in front of the tree. We had just finished doing a taste-test of about six different beers; you can't see, but I'm holding two other beers in the other hand. Good times, good times...
Matt and Scott hanging out in the kitchen. I learned more about these two guys in one night than I have all semester. I couldn't stop laughing with them. Magic memories...
Ashley and Jarrid hanging cool. ...Or something like that...
Sarah smiles for the camera. She was multitasking - cooking the hors d'oeuvres and drinking... my kind of girl!
Kerri, Mike, Mike's fiancee Gina, Erby, and Rachel. At one point there were nearly 40 people in the house - spilling over into the hallways.
Our resident Dancing Queen - Bryn. She was the entertainment for the evening and she was CRACKING us up!!!
Friday, December 16, 2005Best Party EVER
Oh man! Tonight was the best time, EVER! I'll have to wait to get a few pics from the party we had tonight... but just wait... If you don't think 20 and 30 something year-olds know how to "throw that shiznit down" you better think twice. And we weren't even drunk!
This was the best way to end this week! I haven't laughed so much, so hard, while being totally silly with my friends in SUCH A LONG TIME. It was refreshing and WONDERFUL.
Wait for the pics... just wait...
Thursday, December 15, 2005Thoughts
I need to write. I haven't had an outlet all week.
Procrastination seems to be my friend - at least, these past few days I've snuggled up to procrastination in a way I've never done before. I think a lot of us in this cohort have. Not because we aren't interested or invested in what we are doing -but rather, we're all experiencing a certain level of burn-out.
So much of this place is about the physical, intellectual and emotional investment that one has to put in. All too often, I find my Spirit waning in the face of pressure or expectation. Part of me wants to do well - perhaps prove to myself, and others, that I deserve to be here. But the other part feels like throwing her hands up in the air and succumbing to the stress and intensity. There is a true balancing act that one has to endure to be successful; I haven't found it yet.
Coinciding with all the school work is the lack of connection to all that I hold close to my heart. I never realized how much I could miss someone's face. I miss Blair. I miss my mom's hugs. I miss hearing about my brother's hijinx at school. I miss my dad giving me advice on life and not to take things so seriously. I miss good, crappy, food. I just miss HOME - all the things that were comfortable and WONDERFUL at the same time.
My support network of friends in this program have been exceptional. I found a few people who I feel that I can really connect to - the only problem is that our time is limited and it's difficult to truly get to know someone under such stress. We all need each other, but in some ways we don't know how to talk to each other. At times it feels forced.
Today is my very last class of the first semester. It's gone by fast - but not fast enough. Looking back on all that I've learned, gained, and experienced, it's been good - I never have learned so much from so many professionals in such a short amount of time. I feel like I will be that much more of an asset to the workforce when my time is done. I've even started to think of the monetary value I should have when looking for new employment. It's easy to put a price on my worth - I would like to think I'm invaluable.
The snow has been on the ground for 10 days now... I wonder when there will be a time that I won't see it. I often think about my Graduation day next June.. who will be there? What will I be feeling? Who will I miss the most? What will be my next steps? How will I close this chapter of my life and what will I bring with me?
These are things I like to think about while staring out the window, on a Thursday morning, writing in the library and about to head to my last class of the semester...
Thursday, December 08, 2005Reach Out And Touch Me - No, Wait, That Didn't Come Out Right
I'm going to leave this post up for a few days because I want people to read it.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE send me an e-mail or a text message with your phone numbers (if it's a text message, don't forget to tell me who you are). As you might have read, I dropped my phone last Sunday and it died. The awful part is that most of the phone numbers that were saved on it were not saved on the SIM card - but rather, to the phone. So... this leaves me numberless. (Or with a bunch of old phone numbers of people that I don't really talk to anymore. Eh em, people I used to date...)
It would be great to have you all call me so that I wouldn't have to go through individually and add everyone - but this is a SUPER BUSY time of year (lots of LONG papers due next week). I would love to talk to everyone, but I'm running short on time. After next week, I would love to chat it up!
So, please, send me your cell phone numbers, home phone numbers, and any other numbers that you think are important or that I should have - your pimp's number, maybe? I'll try to call you soon - but no promises.
Big thanks and big hugs!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005LIFE
It's all good, people. It's all good.
(Well, except for this damn ice.)
When I lived in California, I loved the cold weather. Now that I live near Boston, I don't love the cold weather so much.
You see, there's a lot of ice around here. Ice is not good. Ice is slippery. I had gone snow-boot shopping this past Sunday and I'm so thankful that I found good shoes with traction. I haven't slipped too much; yet. It's just a matter of time, I know it.
Fashion has to go by the wayside during the winter months. These days, it's all about practicality and what is going to keep me warm. I must look like ass. It's no wonder everyone thinks California people are attractive - they don't have to bundle up too much! ...Yeah, I miss those days of actually looking good...
On my walk home this evening, I was sporting the new snow-boots, the fleece hat, the gloves, a turtleneck, and my huge parka-type jacket that was zipped up all the way (covering half my face). And even still, when I got home, my legs were so cold that I couldn't feel them. It wasn't snowing and I'm not wet. This is only going to get worse.
Oh, and let's not forget the cold face. There's really nothing you can do about that. I never knew your eyeballs could actually get cold. Do you hear me? I said your EYEBALLS get cold! Do you know how weird that is?!?! Anyone who knows me that when I get cold, I turn bright red. And I expect to permanently have a bright red nose for the next few months. Yes, it's true - I'm Rudolph.
Anyway, it's been a long day and I'm tired. I'm going to have to throw an extra blanket on the bed tonight and get out the hot water bottle - if you haven't heard, it's a little chilly...
Sunday, December 04, 2005Numb
I feel numb. Figuratively and literally.
Life is out of balance right now. The Native Americans call that, "Koyannisqatsi."
Nothing feels good. Nothing feels safe. My world has turned upside down since being on the East Coast; which makes me question everything.
What is most important in life? Is it relationships with others? Is it family? Is it happiness and well-being? Is it success? I always thought it was a combination of things. But what do you do when you come to a cross-road? When you can make a choice that will determine the course of the rest of your life? People will look at you, will judge you, based on that decision. What if fate has other plans and you don't get to make that decision?
I don't believe in fate. I believe we all make our own decisions (either consciously or not) and that accidents really do happen. I believe in love. And I believe in the right to fight for all that you hold sacred.
I think I've lived a life that has been true to who I am - for better or for worse. My choices and experiences have made me a better, stronger, woman today. I can only hope that others see the value in who I am and the choices I've made.
I dropped my phone today. It's dead. There were no last words, nothing, just gone.
I feel so isolated from the outside world - family and friends, especially. What do I do now? I can't afford to buy a brand new phone and this model phone is no longer carried by my service provider. What's a girl to do?
Technology has certainly made the world a better place, but when something goes wrong, you feel like the world has stopped moving. I'm half expecting a T-Rex to jump out and "get me."
Oh phone, my precious connection to everyone I care about, please come back to life. I'll love you even more if you do.
Winter has arrived. And with it, the snow.
I took a couple of pictures outside my living room window. You can't really get the full effect, but at least an idea...
I feel bad for everyone who has to drive in this - shoveling out a car and wiping it down with a brush doesn't sound like a good time to me...
My friend and I are going to go shoe shopping in about an hour - I'm not prepared to walk in this. If I'm going to have to tolerate the cold for the next few months, I want my feet to be warm and DRY.
This is how winter is supposed to be. Even as a kid, in sunny Southern California, there was something innately wrong with warm weather in winter. I like the snow - I've never lived in it - so I'm looking forward to this. (Half of you reading this are laughing at me right now, I just know it.)
Saturday, December 03, 2005"This is a steaming pile of bull-crazy"
I hate fighting.
I've never been good at it.
I always feel like I'm the one apologizing at the end - just to get it over with.
And then I obsess.
"I should have said this. I should have said that. I should have said nothing at all."
And then I feel icky. It's that awful feeling in your heart and in your stomach that keeps you up all night...
Time for bed. Not that I'll get much sleep.