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Most Normal Girl

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Ex Factor

In the mornings, as part of my usual routine, I watch NBC's "The Today Show." I listen to it as I shower, put on the makeup, get dressed, make breakfast, and do the hair. Sometimes, if there's a good story or if I want to check the 7-day weather, I'll sit down and watch. This morning, I sat and watched a segment called "The Ex Factor."

Do you ever really get over your ex? Matt Lauer asked to his two special guests, one of whom is the author of "My Boyfriend's Back." Both said no. Then they took it to the streets where they asked normal every-day people. Most of them said no. ...Minus the one woman who suggested having a fling to get over the ex... Surveys show that 72% of people who reunite stay together. And apparently, this happens with a great deal of frequency.

It got me thinking... The ex factor is definitely something that I've carried with me for more than ten years. While we are good friends now, there's always that question of 'what would have been?' Maybe the curiosity is what is so appealing about the friendship.

For me, it was really hard to be single and still have feelings for a special someone. When things don't end badly or in dramatic fashion, it's easy to go back to the good old days. I found myself wondering why - a lot. Why wasn't I the one he wanted? Why are we such good friends that we can't go back? Why do we love the people that we love? Why is it hard to let go? ...But the truth is often not simple and often what we don't want to hear. We can't live behind a world of rose-tinted glasses. Sometimes, things just end. Or sometimes "he just isn't in to you."

I desperately wanted to find a replacement - The NEXT Factor. And, in some ways, I did. I found a few of them, in fact. But "he" was always there -- like a ghostly memory that haunts you at night when you're lonely. And sometimes he would show up - I could smell his cologne at the mall; I heard his voice in a crowd; I would see his face in the stranger walking past... or sometimes... he would call. How do you find the NEXT when you're still tied to the EX?

You put one foot in front of the other. You keep yourself busy. You keep living life and you keep your eyes focused on the future.

In order to move on, I had to do something. I started writing letters to my future husband. I would tell him how much I loved him, already, and would curse at him for taking so long to find me. Somehow, that seemed to help. It made me start thinking of a life with a new person... A new person who I could create new and lasting memories with...

As we all know, my ex is married now and lives in a different part of world. Still... there are days when I wonder what he's doing - how he's doing - and what "we" could have been doing. Maybe it's best that I'll never know.

And now, I've got that new person. Part of appreciating each other is the recognition that we both have people from our past. The experiences we have had helped shape the person we are today; and for that, you never take those exes for granted. But you do move on. You thank your lucky stars for your time together and you wish them well. And then you thank your lucky stars for a bright future without them.
Posted by Jessie_b :: 5:20 AM :: 0 comments

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Monday, February 27, 2006

The Last Radio Station To Do Online Streaming

I'm soooo very thankful that L.A.'s KROQ is finally streaming on the web. My absolute favorite morning show is on KROQ and I couldn't be happier to be able to listen to it live, now. The only problem is that their "live" is three hours later here. So they begin at 8:30am, Boston time. I usually leave my house by 7:45am. DAMMIT.

Today, though, I got to listen for a little while. I WAS SO HAPPY! Kevin and Bean were a staple in my morning routine at home and now I get to have a little piece of that happiness back.

Thank you KROQ, for giving me my Kevins and Beans. I love me the Kevins and Beans. And Ralphs. And Lisas. And Docs. And Super Steves. And Mikes. And the Kings of Mexico. You may be the last radio station on the planet to catch up to the online world, but you finally did - and you've brought home that much closer. Thank you, thank you!
Posted by Jessie_b :: 6:25 AM ::

Saturday, February 25, 2006

10 Weeks

10 weeks is all I have left... 10 weeks of school. No doubt, they're going to be hellish 10 weeks (but at least I get a "Spring Break" in the middle of it). That's 10 more times that I'll meet in each class.


I can do it. Hell yeah. There's a light at the end of this tunnel.
Posted by Jessie_b :: 8:24 AM ::

Friday, February 24, 2006

Yada Yada Yada

So - I love Seinfeld. The show. Seinfeld (along with Friends) has been a part of my life since high school. Back then, my friend Kathy and I would quote Seinfeld episodes in conversation ("you're the baby!"). When I met Zak, the Seinfeld thread was always there. He would remark that he would come home at the end of the day, relax in front of the t.v. and there would be Seinfeld. We had a Seinfeld affinity. My dad still thinks the funniest half hour of television belongs to the Seinfeld family - Kramer: "I'M OUT!"

Now, I just love to walk into a room and proclaim "HELLLOOOOOO!" like Jerry did in that one episode. Or talk about "pick - no pick." Or refer to one's own intimacy as being "Master of your DOMAIN." Or exclaim "Serenity NOW!" in those just-oh-so-right moments. Or wiggle your index finger like the Soup Nazi. Or send your friend into a sauna to find out if someone's breasts are real. Or know someone like NEWMAN. Or exclaim "GET OUT" and push someone really hard when you've just been given unbelievable news. Or talk about "Festivus for the Rest-of-us." Or know about funky car smells - is it BO? Or have a whole "muffin top" industry. Or make fun of Elaine's dancing. Or talk about "shrinkage." Or associate the name with Delores with the female anatomy.. you know.. One of my absolute favories was the Yada Yada Yada episode:

GEORGE: Listen to this. Marcy comes up and she tells me her ex-boyfriend was over late last night, and "yada yada yada, I'm really tired today." You don't think she yada yada'd sex.

ELAINE: (Raising hand) I've yada yada'd sex.

GEORGE: Really?

ELAINE: Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisk, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.

JERRY: But you yada yada'd over the best part.

ELAINE: No, I mentioned the bisk.

Ahh, yes, I love me the Seinfeld.
Posted by Jessie_b :: 3:38 PM ::

Monday, February 20, 2006

Unhealthy Technology Dependence

My Internet has been down for the last four days. FOUR DAYS. Being without the Internet is nearly paralyzing. I just sat and stared at my books today - how boring an uneventful is that? (I mean, yeah, I know I'm in school but COME ON.) How did I come to this? I remember only ten years ago when the Internet was still relatively new and having an e-mail account was something to check once a week. Times have changed. And with it, a social addiction has emerged.

I'm sooo happy to have my Internet up and running again. I can e-mail. I can browse websites. I can get news. I can check the weather. I can blog. I can, I can, I can. I want to hug my computer right now.
Posted by Jessie_b :: 4:57 PM ::

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

But... I... Didn't... Ugghhh

Has anyone else ever suffered from verbal diarrhea only to be held accountable later?

Yeah, it sucks.

Posted by Jessie_b :: 4:23 AM ::

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Group Hug


This has never been a favorite holiday of mine. Over the years they have been uneventful, forgettable, or resentful - it varied from year to year. Even when I did have a valentine it has never been a big holiday...

But today, Blair sent me a package. It came in a poster tube. I had no idea what to think - what could it be?? A poster?? A bunch of small stuffed inside to throw me off-track?? WHAT?? Carefully, I examined the package. I looked at his handwriting... at the tape (which I recognized as being baseball tape, or something to that effect)... at where he mailed it from. I didn't want to spoil the moment and the mystery by diving into it - I wanted to cherish the moment and embrace my wonder.

When I finally opened it up, I read the card - laughed out loud - and was delighted to find a bundle of my favorite flowers carefully wrapped inside. He got me flowers. Beautiful flowers. Beautiful favorite flowers all for me - for VALENTINE'S DAY.

So, to everyone with or without a special significant other: Happy Valentine's Day!

"All we need is love, love. Love is all we need!"

Posted by Jessie_b :: 9:45 AM ::

Monday, February 13, 2006

An English Lesson

Can we please give some of our Olympic athletes an English lesson? This thought occurred to me as I was watching an interview of the gold and silver medalists in the women's snowboarding competition. These girls cannot put together a decent sentence, let alone give an interesting interview. I was embarrassed. If these are the girls who are going to represent the United States, they should be able to put together cogent thoughts.

The only decent interview that I did see was given by Joey Cheek... who had an SAT score of over 1400 (but still not good enough to be admitted by Harvard). Hmmm...
Posted by Jessie_b :: 8:22 PM ::

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Second Semester Schedule

Since I've been fielding questions about courses a lot lately, I thought I would just post a blog for the world to know.

The shopping for classes has been going well. (Admittedly, it's been hard to drag my ass out of bed each morning. I got a little to used to sleeping in, during my break.) I shopped three classes yesterday and three today. This semester, I will again be taking four classes - two of which are required (the other two are up to us). I think I've figured out all four classes, but am still sort of on the fence. I might actually audit one other class - not for any credit, but because the class seems sooo interesting. (In essence, I won't have to do any of the requirements of the course - no reading, no paper-writing, no exam-taking - nothing -but have the benefit of sitting in on the class to participate in lecture and class discussion.) We'll see... If I stick with my four classes that I have in mind, I will have a decent schedule - one three-hour long class on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I'll have Mondays off - but, if I decide to audit this other class, it meets on Monday... so... I don't know.

I'm also trying to figure out what kind of work schedule I need to have to maximize my earnings. As it stands, many of these three-hour long courses are right in the middle of the day. That makes it kind of tough to figure out when to work (while not neglecting a lunch hour). I want to work at least 15-20 hours per week.

I really need to just sit and try to figure all of this out. The good news is that I have nothing scheduled for tomorrow (Thursday) so I can lay out all my options before me and truly decide what is going to be best. Or, if I figure that part out by tonight, I can work all day tomorrow for at least a small paycheck for the week.

For some reason, this semester seems especially "heavy" with reading and papers. Furthermore, many of the courses will have big reflection papers and big group projects - unlike the first semester. I'm looking forward to the reflection papers, but I get uneasy about group projects (some people don't pull their weight in group projects). Classes begin next week and I've already got a ton of reading to do. GREAT.

The good news is that I've got 3.5 months to get through and then I'll be DONE. Getting there is going to be the challenge; but worthwhile in the long run.

Hope everyone is doing well!
Posted by Jessie_b :: 9:26 AM ::