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By visiting this site, you read at your own risk. I am known for errors in grammar and spelling. If you become less intelligent by reading this site, become incredibly bored, or are disgusted by what you read - you were warned. Furthermore, I will not be held responsible for ANY mental, emotional, physical, financial, or spiritual damage to you, your friends, your family or strangers. I apologize to my friends and family if I embarrass you. I reserve the right to edit any and all comments on this blog. I also reserve the right to humiliate you if you dare say anything negative about me, my friends, my family, or strangers who I like.
Saturday, December 30, 200621 Years Young
My "little" brother turns 21 today. We are having a family dinner out before heading to Hollywood. We have a stretched limo (which ultimately will seat 17) to take us around. I'm sure the photos explain it all...
(Thanks to Melissa for these photos - mine are still on Blair's camera)
Someone said, "it's not the first time I've seen you drink; just the first time I've LEGALLY seen you drink." Couldn't have said it any better.
The family. Before the parents left and before the kids got wasted.
Us, at dinner. You can't see it, but Scott is holding a ribbon that says "My 21st Birthday."
We can never take a "normal" picture together. It just wouldn't be right...
Scott and Melissa.
Me and Blair. The "old" chaperones... At least, that's how we felt.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006Ball And Chain
Happy 31st Anniversary, Mom and Dad!
How can anyone live with someone for so long and not want to kick them in the head at the end of each day? Not that I'm advocating for kicking people in the head... I'm just saying...
Tuesday, December 26, 2006A Christmas Story... Told By A Most Disgruntled Girl
Ahh, the holidays... Ahh, tradition. This time of year always brings out the best (or dare I say, the worst?) in people.
I was looking forward to spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with family (and other loved ones), to celebrate the traditions of our family, and spend quality time reflecting on all that is good (aka: LIFE, LOVE, WINE...). This year was going to be even EXTRA special because I could share all of these fond traditions, that I hold so dear to my heart, with Blair. But as traditions and anticipated events like these go - it turned out to be a bust.
There was no traditional dinner; no traditional egg nog; no traditional movie by the fire; nobody bundled up in blankets; no traditional opening of ONE gift the night before... there was none of it. It felt like my Christmas landed on the doorstep - only to leave a bitter note, saying "IT'S ALL IN THE PAST, SWEETHEART." This was the second year, in a row, that Christmas just wasn't Christmas. (At least last year there was an excuse for it - I was living in another city with my brother thousands of miles away in Iraq.) What happened to the magic of my favorite holiday?
I couldn't help but cry myself to sleep this year. My heart was broken - all that I had looked forward to had vanished. Where did it go?
And to make it even worse, I felt like the "bad guy" when my family decided to show up after midnight. I didn't want to look at any of them. I didn't want to speak to any of them. I just wanted to close my eyes and dream of sugar plums dancing with ballerina mice. I wanted to play my favorite Christmas movie in my head - just to have a piece of it. Instead, I did a fine job of being pissed off and tried to "forget about it" the next day.
Ugh, the holidays. I'm so glad it's over. Maybe next year I'll skip the whole thing - just so I won't be disappointed A THIRD TIME.
Saturday, December 23, 2006The Next Step
Tonight was big... Blair asked me to move in with him.
Appropriately enough, he asked in the kitchen while we were surrounded with dirty dishes. Charming, eh?
Although my commute is going to be a BEAR, and although I'm going to have to live with CATS, and although the house is going to be DIRTY for a while... he's worth it.
Friday, December 22, 2006Old Ladies
I can understand that getting old is a hard thing. Hell, I'm into my mid-to-late twenties now, and I FEEL like an old lady (at times). The achy back, the sore muscles, the eye-sight isn't what it used to be, waiters no longer carding you for alcohol, people calling you "ma'am," the grey hairs, the constant comment of how cold it is, and all that jazz - it's downhill from here. I get it.
But one thing I CANNOT understand is why old ladies insist on letting thier mole-hairs get long. You know who you are, old ladies. Don't tell me that you can't see it - it's on your freakin' face! You can still see well enough to put make-up on every morning, but you can't see the inch-long hair that is protruding from your face-mole? What's the matter with you? Take some tweezers to that sh!t - no one wants to see it!
Thursday, December 21, 2006Shortest Day Of The Year
Why, when on the shortest day of the year, does it feel like the l-o-n-g-e-s-t day of the year? This week is taking its sweet-ass time... and all I want is to start my vacation. Only one day away and yet, it feels like one hundred.
Monday, December 18, 2006Bored - To The Power Of Three
Bored. Bored. Bored. I am bored.
Most of the students have left for the Holidays.
Most of the STAFF has left for the Holidays.
Most of the phones are not ringing, because people think we have all left for the Holidays.
So - I'm bored, bored, bored.
Anyone have a fun or interesting website I can visit?
Friday, December 15, 2006Holiday Party
Around here, we are not allowed to put up "Christmas" decorations. We can only put up "Holiday" decorations - so that we don't offend any visitors. Instead of a Christmas tree, we have a snowman. Instead of garland, we have snowflakes. Instead of red and green everywhere, we have silver and white. Call us Switzerland - because we're neutral.
Our neutral office had a neutral gift exchange ($15 limit) followed by an anything-but neutral party. We shut down the office at 2pm and headed to the Yard House (known for having more than 100 beers on tap) for some tasty beverages. Oh, and food too. But really, tasty beverages.
Our bill, after three hours was $540. Of that, $460 was spent on tasty beverages.
When it comes right down to it, the thing that brings people together during the Holiday Season is booze and food. Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and have a blessed Kwanzaa!
Monday, December 04, 2006Christmas Wish List
Because I only celebrate Christmas for the presents and the food, I am going to do you all a favor and take the guessing out of your shopping stress. Yes, friends, I will provide you with my Christmas Wish List. Feel free to get me one or all of the items, even duplicates are welcome.
So, let us begin:
1. This year, what I really, really, really want is a sugar-daddy. Or a sugar-momma. Hell, just give me some sugar and I'll be happy. (As long as the sugar comes in the form of U.S. dollars.) You see, the greatest gift I could have this season would be to lose this anxiety and stress over money. If anyone could pick up the tab on my student loans, my car payment, my credit card bill, or anything that would allow me to put a portion of my monthly paycheck into a SAVINGS account, that would be AWESOME!
2. In keeping with the same theme, I would like a place of my own to call home. No more living with the parents; no more crashing with the boyfriend. I want a space that is mine, all mine. Preferably, in Pasadena. And preferably not next to the freeway. But close enough to Old Town that I can walk there on the weekends for breakfast. And a place with underground parking. Oh, and nice appliances in the kitchen would be great. With big rooms. And a pool. ...I mean, only if you can...
3. I don't want to detract too much from this whole, "I need money" theme, so I will also accept gift cards. PotteryBarn, Starbucks, Banana Republic, Quizno's, Aaron Brothers, and Amazon.com are among the top favorites. Or even a universal buy-anything-you-want card would be greatly appreciated.
4. Finally, if you can't find it in your dark heart to give me money - then please do your part in nominating me for the 2007 bloggies. Truly, it's just an honor to be nominated. And one day, when I am rich and famous, I will have all you little people to thank.