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Friday, March 04, 2011My Wonder Years
Being a mom brings to the surface a lot of questions about who we are as people, how we were raised, and questions about the next generation. I consider myself among the lucky. Growing up, I didn't have a lot of heartache or trouble - things seemed easy (for the most part). Sure, there were bad days and more than a few tears along the way but nothing horrendous and nothing that left scars too deep. I was popular, I was pretty, I was smart, I was athletic...what more could you want? I was the epitome of a "good girl" and never got into serious trouble. I sailed through my adolescent years as best as anyone could hope for.
Perhaps I'm more nostalgic than most. I love going through old photos or talking about the days gone before; reminiscing about those golden days when life seemed simpler and our problems were shallow. I remember getting into trouble in my second grade class with my best-friend because we were laughing too hard. I loved the Friday night lights of a football game - both in junior high and high school. I remember the magic of the Holiday Season and what it meant to our family. I remember getting into my grandmother's make-up with my cousin and laughing hysterically at stuffing our bras with socks. I remember the smell of the cafeteria on rainy days. I remember my first day of school, sixth grade. I remember my mom lip-singing "The Rose" to me during the week of my high school graduation. All of these memories bring up such vivid images and stories! I hope I never forget them...
I was lucky to have reconnected with my first best-friend. She and I were two peas in a pod from about age 5 to 9. She's getting married in May and I can't wait to be there for her. I recently attended her bridal shower and felt so lucky to say, "I've known her the longest" (bragging rights, outside of the family).
As I look at my daughter and wonder who she will grow up to be, I can't help but to think (and worry) about how hard life can be. Kids can be mean, school can be hard, peer pressure can be a bitch. I have complete confidence that Blair and I will raise her to make smart decisions and to seek guidance when the going gets rough. But still... there's that worry... about OTHERS. Other kids who will get their driver's license and make bad decisions. Other pressures in school or on the playground (or behind the bleachers at football games). Other crazies in the world who set out to do harm. Other intangibles that I will have no control over.
I pray, everyday, that God and the Universe will keep her safe; keep her healthy; keep her happy into a ripe old age; that Life will show her more beauty than can be imagined; that Love will always surround her and be within her heart; that she will have confidence to hold her head high, even in the strongest of gusty winds; that charity is more than just an act of kindness; that courage will take her on nomadic adventures; and that her funny squeal and laugh will never fade.
I hope the wonder years will continue to be WONDERFUL. They brought me so much joy and truly helped to mold me into the woman of today.