Saturday, July 10, 2010

Holding Close

Since my friend, Tom, passed away nearly a month ago, I have been more aware of the people and blessings in my life.  There are moments when I think of him and his family... nothing specific, just thoughts of them.  I've been drawn to Tom's wife's blog posts, FB posts, and other updates.  From a distance, I have tried to connect to the family and offer virtual-hugs or just simple words of support.  I don't know if it makes any difference; maybe it's just part of my way of coping.

I hate that this has happened.  Trying to find any sort of silver lining is impossible.  I want to take things and hold them closer as if to never let them fade away.  I often find myself staring at my husband a little longer than usual; hugging or touching him more than I did before; appreciating what we have and what is to come.  Everyday that he leaves for work, I remind him to "drive safely" - not really knowing if he listens to me or if he understands why I say it.

I wish there were better words to express the range of emotions that I've been feeling, lately.  I'm sure my hormones are no help in that department.  One moment I'm sad and pensive, the next I'm filled with love and excitement, and then I feel totally anxious.  (Then my boobs leak and I'm brought back to reality.)

Tonight I'm feeling very fortunate to have great love in my life.  My dog and my husband are fast asleep in the living room and it's taking all I have not to take pictures of them and post them for all to see.  I love my little family; there is nowhere in the whole world that I would rather be than right here, right now, with them.
Posted by Jessie_b :: 11:27 PM :: 0 comments

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