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Most Normal Girl

Thursday, October 28, 2004

An Apology

This is hard for me. This will be hard for you too - to understand, that is. You see, I feel compelled to offer an apology to a certain member of the male population who I have done wrong. Yes, I’m not perfect and I made a mistake. My mistake was this: I dated.

Apparently, someone who I was dating for a little while fell in love with me and assumed that we were in an exclusive relationship. Now before you all start sending me hate-mail, listen to my side. I told him, from day one, that I was not in a position to be in an exclusive relationship at the time. While I don’t necessarily prefer dating, I was getting a lot of good offers and there were a lot of things going on in my life to just be tied to one person. I think that’s rather normal for a mid-twenty year-old woman... Anyway, I don’t know if he just forgot that part or what but he didn’t take it too well when I told him that I had been seeing other people. (Lesson here for other -perhaps younger- readers: DON’T TELL THEM!) I didn’t realize that by being honest and straightforward, I would not ever see this person again! What’s more is that his job keeps him busy so much of the time that we didn’t even get to have a normal dating life together! It sucked! Is it so wrong to want to go out and get dinner or go to a movie (or something else just as cliche)? I don’t want to be a prisoner in my own home and not have the opportunity to go out, on account of this person’s schedule with work. (Is this making any sense at all?)

The sad thing about all of this is that I truly care about this person. While I’m not in love with him, he’s a great guy - amazing, funny, intelligent, interesting, all of it. I enjoy every moment of our time together - or at least, I did. And now, I feel this need to apologize in an open forum so the world knows how truly sorry I am. I’m sorry that I said anything and I’m sorry for the way things turned out. I hope someday I can be forgiven.

It’s been over a month since all of this happened and I can’t stop thinking about him. I miss him. I just want to go back to that place; where things were comfortable. It’s too late for that now. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to leave it be...I’ve done all I can do (including calling and e-mailing - and now this). The ball is in his court, right?
Posted by Jessie_b :: 1:46 PM :: 1 comments

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