.: The Girl :.
Name:Jessie
From::Los Angeles, California
I'm a twenty-something California native; a wanderer but not without direction.
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By visiting this site, you read at your own risk. I am known for errors in grammar and spelling. If you become less intelligent by reading this site, become incredibly bored, or are disgusted by what you read - you were warned. Furthermore, I will not be held responsible for ANY mental, emotional, physical, financial, or spiritual damage to you, your friends, your family or strangers. I apologize to my friends and family if I embarrass you. I reserve the right to edit any and all comments on this blog. I also reserve the right to humiliate you if you dare say anything negative about me, my friends, my family, or strangers who I like.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Beer BanditYesterday when I got home from my recent trip, I was PISSED to find that my apartment was a mess. For those that don't know, I can be a little anal when it comes to cleanliness (but only in MY place - I don't give a rat's ass about yours). All of my roommates (past and present) know this about me and I make no mistake about keeping my bathroom and kitchen as clean as possible.
Before I left on Sunday, I had cleaned the kitchen. We're talking wiping down the countertops, cleaning the stove, cleaning the floor, scrubbing the sink, dusting the top of the fridge, taking out the trash... the usual. Because it was BIG GAME Sunday, I also went and bought beer. (YAY! I think every time beer -YAY!- is mentioned, there should be an automatic YAY! that is thrown into the conversation.) So, picture this: a happy little girl, lounging on her couch, with beer (YAY!) and pizza and a clean kitchen.
Well, I had to leave Sunday to drive down to San Diego for a few days. Guess what I found when I got home? Yep, you've read this far - A MESS.
- There were two bags of trash propped up against the wall when I came in.
- There were toast crumbs ALL OVER the countertops.
- The floor was a mess.
- There was a weird stink that was emerging from the sink (how freakin' hard is it to throw a switch and run the disposal?).
- The dishwasher was loaded wrong - AGAIN!
- And to top it all off, half of my beer (YAY!) was gone.
I was PISSED. How the fuck does he live when I'm not there? You know what, I don't care... just pick it up. And don't drink my beer (YAY!)!!!
Now I have to be the "bad guy" because he's a slob.
Anyway, when I retold this story to a friend this morning (ranting and raving in my normal fashion), he asked me if I wanted to hear something funny. ("ALWAYS") He told me that Daewoo makes forklifts. No, it's not funny; but it IS random. And I love random. So I started to laugh. And I laughed even harder when I drove to work this morning and some ass cut me off on the freeway, driving a Daewoo. So even though one guy pissed me off to no end, another one MADE my morning.
PS - If my future husband ever reads this, honey, please don't make the mistake of drinking MY BEER (YAY!) without replacing it. Oh, and wipe down the countertops every once in a while.