.: The Girl :.
Name:Jessie
From::Los Angeles, California
I'm a twenty-something California native; a wanderer but not without direction.
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By visiting this site, you read at your own risk. I am known for errors in grammar and spelling. If you become less intelligent by reading this site, become incredibly bored, or are disgusted by what you read - you were warned. Furthermore, I will not be held responsible for ANY mental, emotional, physical, financial, or spiritual damage to you, your friends, your family or strangers. I apologize to my friends and family if I embarrass you. I reserve the right to edit any and all comments on this blog. I also reserve the right to humiliate you if you dare say anything negative about me, my friends, my family, or strangers who I like.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Wishing & Hoping & Praying (& Even A Little Bit Of Crying)This is my last week as a student here. There are so many things going on, that I can't keep my head on straight. My stress level is through the roof and I don't have an ounce of creative juices left in my body. Plus, there are callouses that have developed on my hands from typing too many papers.
I've cried too many tears this week. Perhaps it's the exhaustion that is taking its toll. Regardless, I'm emotionally spent.
Nostalgia is beginning to set in, before I've left. I'm really sad about leaving this place; about saying good-bye to the life with ed-school-friends and school. I'm sad about leaving Cambridge. Mostly, I'm sad about closing another chapter in my book of life. While I know there is much to look forward to, things seem very foggy and unclear right now. I have no job. I have no money (and -loan- debt up the wazoo). I have no bedroom of my own. And I have no idea what is to come next.
Not having any sense of "control" is making things that much harder.
Today, in one of my classes, we got to "reflect" on our time here as a cohort. There were all kinds of warm fuzzies going on; but I just felt numb. I tried to take notes, because I have a paper due on this topic on Friday, but at the end of class all I had was a blank piece of paper staring back at me.
Lots of things seem blank these days. And it's not just the blank look on everyone's faces walking around the library. We're all in a daze - tired, confused, stressed, anxious.
