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Most Normal Girl

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

It's Official

It's official: I AM EMPLOYED. I begin work on Monday. (I would tell you my cool new BIG and IMPORTANT title, and where I will be decorating a pretty new office, but then you might show up... and God knows, I do not want visitors. Especially YOU.)

It's official: I AM A FAT PIECE OF LARD. I caught my reflection in a window today and my thought process went something like this: "Wow, who's that pretty chick? Oh, wait, that's me. Hey, I'm a pretty good-lookin' chick. OH MY GOD, where did that stomach and those hips come from? I'm HUGE. And now that I'm looking at myself, I may as well take a good look over... Hair=Good, Shoulders=Good, Boobs=Good, Legs=Good, Arms=Need a bit of work, Stomach=Holy SHIT, Waist=Shit, Hips=Double Shit, Butt=OH FUCK..." And then I just stopped looking. I was only going to depress myself if I looked any longer. It could have been the bright yellow sweater I was wearing, but I think the clothing excuse has just about run its course. Time to find a treadmill.
Posted by Jessie_b :: 10:04 PM :: 2 comments

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