Tuesday, December 26, 2006

A Christmas Story... Told By A Most Disgruntled Girl

Ahh, the holidays... Ahh, tradition. This time of year always brings out the best (or dare I say, the worst?) in people.

I was looking forward to spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with family (and other loved ones), to celebrate the traditions of our family, and spend quality time reflecting on all that is good (aka: LIFE, LOVE, WINE...). This year was going to be even EXTRA special because I could share all of these fond traditions, that I hold so dear to my heart, with Blair. But as traditions and anticipated events like these go - it turned out to be a bust.

There was no traditional dinner; no traditional egg nog; no traditional movie by the fire; nobody bundled up in blankets; no traditional opening of ONE gift the night before... there was none of it. It felt like my Christmas landed on the doorstep - only to leave a bitter note, saying "IT'S ALL IN THE PAST, SWEETHEART." This was the second year, in a row, that Christmas just wasn't Christmas. (At least last year there was an excuse for it - I was living in another city with my brother thousands of miles away in Iraq.) What happened to the magic of my favorite holiday?

I couldn't help but cry myself to sleep this year. My heart was broken - all that I had looked forward to had vanished. Where did it go?

And to make it even worse, I felt like the "bad guy" when my family decided to show up after midnight. I didn't want to look at any of them. I didn't want to speak to any of them. I just wanted to close my eyes and dream of sugar plums dancing with ballerina mice. I wanted to play my favorite Christmas movie in my head - just to have a piece of it. Instead, I did a fine job of being pissed off and tried to "forget about it" the next day.

Ugh, the holidays. I'm so glad it's over. Maybe next year I'll skip the whole thing - just so I won't be disappointed A THIRD TIME.
Posted by Jessie_b :: 11:33 PM :: ---------------oOo---------------