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Friday, April 06, 2007A Vent Session
I have a problem. It's an on-going problem and I just don't know what to do about it. My problem is this...
I get excited and build up expectations that always turn out to be disappointments. I'm not talking about big things, per se, but it's always the little things. For example, I get excited about coming home. I think, HOORAY I WON'T BE AT WORK and HOORAY I CAN GO FOR A WALK... Only, when I get home (and after hoping that Blair will surprise me with flowers and candles when I walk through the door - yeah, like that will EVER happen) I find, instead, that I have to do WORK. I have the business of figuring out dinner, of putting a load of laundry in the wash, of dealing with whiny colleagues (THE CATS) and trying to please a boss who will inevitably arrive late. I even psych myself up to believe that maybe he will come home early - that we can make dinner together, have a romantic evening, go for a walk, and make love all night. ONLY TO BE DISAPPOINTED. Even when he says he will leave work by 7 (which would be a good/early day), he forgets to call and let me know that he actually left work at 8 and he won't be home until 9. Dinner will be cold. I will have to eat alone. And then I'll be in a bad mood when he gets home - only to be blamed for it and then have to do most of the clean-up. And won't be able to go to bed by 10 like I had planned. (Let's remember that I get up at 5:20am everyday to go to a place of WORK that I hate.)
Today is a holiday at work for me. Blair took the day off, too, so we could be together. Want to guess what I was thinking we could do today? "LET'S GO TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS. LET'S GO TO SIX FLAGS. LET'S GO WINE TASTING. LET'S BRING OVER SOME OF MY FURNITURE SO WE CAN GET THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE A REAL HOME." Want to know what we've done so far? I REHEATED LEFTOVER PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST. I WASHED THE DISHES. AND NOW I'M WRITING THIS POST WHILE BLAIR IS IN THE NEXT ROOM PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. Want to take a guess at how I'm feeling?
Disappointed isn't the right word for it. PISSED is more fitting.