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Most Normal Girl

Thursday, March 17, 2005

So That Happened

Because I said I would, I will now reveal the horror that is my so-called dating life.

In high school, I didn’t date much. I was young and naïve and didn’t really know how to go about meeting guys while I was at an all-girls school. I had met a beautiful boy, Taylor, who loved U2 (very cool) and who made me laugh. He was a student in my dad’s class and we became fast friends. That was my freshman year. And then of course, as you all should know by now, there was that one. That SPECIAL one. The one who would be compared and measured against all others from then on. The one that I still haven’t quite let go of and who is getting married on June 5th of this year in Hawaii to that bitch. Yeah, THAT ONE. He was the guy in my life from age sixteen to nineteen. That pretty much ruled out any other guy in that time-span.

Then came college. I was social in college, but didn’t exactly have a whirlwind dating life. If anything, I was either that girl that was every boy’s really good friend or I was the girl that “you want to marry, but you don’t want to date.” Seriously. I heard that stupid line more times than any woman EVER wants to hear. It’s like a back-handed compliment in a weird way. “Jessica, I don’t want to use you like I normally would with other women. You’re too sweet. But I’m also not looking to get hitched until I’ve fucked around a bit.” Besides that, I can remember only having one boyfriend in college. That lasted a whole two months – and part of that time was over a Winter Break, so in all actuality, it lasted a whopping week. Um, yeah.

After college was when things really started to pick up for me. I started working with a staff of mostly women. One of these women was the All-American girl who was a few years older than me and could party with the best of ‘em. And she did. Every weekend in fact. She would come in on a Monday morning with pictures of the beautiful, Brazilian, wash-board stomach, dancing on her bed, with nothing but the skivvies on, guy. She had the best stories and lived life in the fast lane – but she was also very careful about taking care of her body and of her mind. I thought she was a Goddess. She didn’t give a damn about what other people thought (a trait which I always admired in others but for the life of me could never adopt). I looked up to her and started to emulate that kind of life. Before I knew it, I was a dating machine.

The roller-coaster ride continues. I’m still the dating machine I was, but for very different reasons. It’s been five years now, and I’m really looking to find THE NEXT ONE. My friend, Zak, says that I’m the only woman that he knows that is actually doing something about trying to find THE NEXT ONE instead of just complaining about it while sitting on my ass (apparently, he knows a lot of other women who do that). That’s right buster, I’m OUT THERE. In my full glory. …Problem is, it hasn’t gotten me much of anywhere… See, in the past five years, my longest standing relationship has been with a guy who lives in another country. The Canadian boy who I saw once a month for six months. That tells ya somethin’ doesn’t it? So, this all leads me to my present situation with NEW GUY. NEW GUY has now become THE LAST GUY.

Here’s how it all went down: After three and a half weeks of NOT seeing each other, I got a little pissed. It turns out that when I’m dating someone, I actually want to date them – which of course includes seeing them and going out!!! Well, I brought this matter up over Instant Messenger – which is always a bad idea because you can’t really “hear” the way someone “says” something. But anyway… he was sort of caught off-guard by my need to know which direction our dating life was headed. I don’t want to just be spinning my wheels anymore – that part of me is out of my system. Permanently. So, all of this happened on Tuesday afternoon and by Wednesday I figured it was over. Just in case it wasn’t, I sent a damage-control e-mail telling him that I’ve enjoyed his company (even if it had been brief) and was hoping to see him again. I haven’t heard from him. So, my friends, IT’S OVER. If anyone is out there or knows of anyone who would be interested in dating me, please let me know. I only ask that he be somewhat tall (LAST GUY was 5’7”), goal-oriented (LAST GUY was content with a life of mediocrity), be employed in a career that has a good future (LAST GUY was employed by his dad), a guy who doesn’t need to watch cartoons every night (LAST GUY kept the t.v. on cartoon network as we were going to bed… seriously), a guy who is hot (LAST GUY was good-looking but not exactly HOT), and a guy who wants a relationship (LAST GUY seemed to be a little freaked out about the possibility of sustaining a committed relationship that would involve another person beyond HIMSELF!!). I don’t think I’m asking too much.

So, there you have it. Dammit, where’s Ben & Jerry when you need ‘em???
Posted by Jessie_b :: 9:30 AM ::